To Practice or Not To Practice

That is the question. Sometimes it is just so difficult to practice in this era. With so many distractions, work, family, friends (the few I have), books! Yes books are such a distraction. I find the hardest thing is to just to sit down and start practicing. However, once I start I cannot stop. Of course it would just have to be like that. The hardest part about practicing is the volume of material to practice. Where do I start? With which song do I begin? Is that song even ready to study at the piano, or does it need more reading through. Reading through/analyzing is very a tedious process. I sure most musicians would agree that any form of practice away from ones instrument is very difficult. Insight #1, pianists procrastinate practice. It sounds like a tongue twister or someone learning words starting with "P". And, okay I know that not everybody is going to agree and that there are great piano students out there that practice all the time and enjoy every minute of it. I just have to say you must be quite the artist to never be frustrated by the black squiggly notes on the page. Musicians have to have one of the few careers where they self-inflict their own stress and frustration. Probably because we are our own boss. In fact we are our own teacher. My teacher is not much of authoritarian it seems. Since, I can obviously not discipline my inner pupil to practice!
Of course that is not completely true. If I did not practice at ALL, then I would be indeed a sad piece of work. I like to think that I at least play well and have the potential to play great. As an artist I must find the discipline to apply myself to my instrument. It is all mental after all. A tug of war with my mind. This is where life as a pianist becomes lonely. You turn down party invitations, can't sit down for dinner with the family, ignore phone calls, and work maybe one day a week if you can manage that. Then you spend your day practicing for 8-10 hours, then you sleep and possibly eat if you feel like it. People just don't understand it and why should they? It is manic behavior, definitely obsessive compulsive, and every bit egocentric. I certainly paint a ugly picture of a pianists personality. But why should I lie, we don't act normal. No normal person would practice to the point of having to soak their hands in ice water. No normal person would practice a glissando until their fingers bled. (Warning: I do not recommend doing this, it is very painful and you will not be able practice glissando's for a few weeks.) So what can motivate you to practice? Last minute panic. I should definitely find a better one, but right now it works. So today, remember "don't procrastinate practice" or play glissando's for too long, i will not be responsible for any injuries!

The Prelude.

I am starting this blog because I cannot find a blog like it anywhere. No one seems to have written down the cold hard truth of what it is like to be a pianist. Especially a young pianist. To be sure the experience of being a pianist or musician is different for everyone. However, in an astounding amount of ways we are all the same. We all struggle through the emotions, we all suffer through the practice, and we all take pleasure in performing the music. We can't give a real reason to why continue down a path that is so repetitive it slowly drives one insane. But it would be safe to say that it is the end result, the music that finally takes form at the end of all the hours of slaving away that continually lures us back to the hell that is music making.
It is hell, because no matter how hard we work, achieving perfection is never within our reach. Even though we swear it is. Just one more hour, just one more day, it could be tomorrow that the music sounds like the master emitting from our headphones. Then tomorrow comes and perfection is still elusive. We become desperate, we contemplate selling our soul to the devil. It has been rumored the "greats"did after all. Then we toss that idea aside, it would be cheating after all and what satisfaction would there be in playing with a talent you bought. So we labor onwards, hoping to capture that ephemeral lady "perfection". Where every note, every sound, every nuance, is completely in accordance with you. And not someone else's perfection. Your perfection, how you hear the music in your head. Because that is the most difficult thing, to take what you hear in yourself and make it real, tangible and true.
Moreover, no blog I can find has addressed the issues and problems that can arise for musicians and pianists. The insomnia, the depression, the stress, the loneliness. Music is a very singular art. For sure musicians will work together in bands, or orchestras to make music. However, we all know that everyone is individual, only working together for those moments. Socially, in my opinion musicians are isolated. Others can make you feel selfish or foolish for choosing an instrument as a life goal. For example I once had someone ask me why I was still taking piano lessons if I already knew how to play a song on the piano. I don't want to accuse people of being narrow minded, but it is hard not to when they cannot even see the logic of continuing music lessons to progress as a pianist. No blog has stories such as these to which I can relate. Hopefully, I am not alone and someone can relate to my stories.
On an ending note, let me say that with music you never stop learning. One of the reasons why I love it. You learn one song, two songs, maybe fifty songs and there are still hundreds to learn. Music Theory is continuous as composers are coming up with new ideas everyday. Classical Music is it's own world. That most seem naive to. And for you the reader, I hope to give you in the future uncensored insights into this world. Expect rants, ravings, ups, downs, and secrets pianists never tell. And believe me we the pianists have secrets...